30 Days to Live

Our church is doing a series titled "30 Days to Live" as a way to encourage us to live our days as though they are our last because there is no promise of tomorrow. As I listened to Roger last Sunday, I thought a lot about the people in my life that I have had to let go of and felt satisfied that I had the chance to discuss faith and my love for them before they passed away. I also thought about people that I would like to send a card or make a phone call to just to let them know that I love them and ask them about their faith. I thought of my grandma and how I love that I have a relationship with her where I call her (sort of) regularly and we chat about church, the kids and her Norwegian group. I thought about my Uncle Jerry who I have been meaning to get a card to as his physical health seemed to fluctuate in recent months. I also thought about my desires in life how I would feel about them if I was only given 30 days to live.

This morning as Kyle preached about seeking the eternal, I was inwardly focused on a desire of mine and was in the process of allowing God to take the desire away if it is not part His eternal plan for me. I remained inwardly focused on the way home because I was irritated with Mike about some events that happened as we were trying to get ready for church. The voice mail message from my father broke my selfish focus in a flash. I could tell by the tone of his voice that something was wrong and I had a pretty good idea of what.

I returned his phone call and he explained that my Uncle Jerry died this morning. My first reaction was "it's too soon." I hadn't gotten that card out to him yet. My second reaction was "I'm so sorry," for his wife's pain, my father's pain, and my family's pain. Finally, "what can I do?" But all I can think of through out today is what I wish I had already done. I wish I had written that card months ago. A simple card to let him know that I am thinking of him, praying for him and love him. I understand that my grief is fresh and this is what people do, however I'm so conflicted. Was God nudging me last Sunday? Has God been nudging me for a long time and I have been putting him off? Below is what I would have written in a card to my Uncle if he were still here and given the promise of tomorrow:

Dear Uncle Jerry,

I just wanted to take today to thank you for all the ways you have blessed me. I remember one time when I was little I made you a special Christmas present that said "World's Funniest Uncle." I want you to know that you are so much more. You are someone who I am thrilled my children have gotten to know as a optimistic and generous. You took your second chance at life to encourage others who have shared your pain and comforted loved ones of those who lost the same battle you have fought. I admire your strength, values, and genuine character. I also admire the way your poured your talent of teaching into young lives at the community college.
My all time favorite memory of you was a Christmas Day from years ago. As we were taking up a collection to give to charity, you spoke with passion about your struggle with PPH and the Doctor that was making strides in medicine to help save lives. I clearly remember your words, "there are two things that give life; God and man." I would argue that God is the giver and sustainer of life (through using people) and I voted with you on that offering because I believed that your passion was genuine and so was the doctor who helped you through all your struggles with PPH. Today I want you to know that God is the Giver of Life and through Jesus you can gain life eternal. I pray that where you seek God you will find Him. I know He loves you so much and is using you whether you know it or not as he was using you on that Christmas Day. Please know that our children have been richly blessed through knowing you and I pray for peace in your heart.
Love, Carrie

I truly regret choosing to do anything else than write this card. If there is someone you know that would be blessed by a few words from you, please take the time to do it now. There is no guarantee of tomorrow.

The Big Night-play by play

So early last week Mike says, "Hey, let's get a sitter and go out on Saturday night."

I say, "Sounds like a plan, what do you want to do?"

He says, "I'll take care of it."

I say, "you're not going to tell me anything?" He says, "no.

Well, Saturday night rolls around and I am having an impossible time finding a sitter. I was also exhausted from staying up really late the night before and working really early that morning. I suggested rescheduling our date for another time but he seems disappointed by that so I make a few more phone calls and scored an awesome sitter. I begin to ask Mike lots of questions about our night because I want to be dressed appropriately in case he is taking me someplace really nice. He says we are going to eat at the mall. Mike HATES the mall so now I am totally stumped. All he will tell me about our date is that he saw something in the paper that looked interesting, he researched it and it turns out that it could be very cool or a total flop. My curiosity was KILLING me. After a nice combination dinner of Panda Express and Great Steak and Potato, he leads me to the picture taking booth to have our picture taken. I must say I haven't done that since high school and those booths have shrunk since then.

We hop back in the car and head toward Ewing Manor which gets me really excited because I love going there for Illinois Shakespeare Festival but have yet to go inside the actual building. You can imagine my total surprise as he turns into the Unitarian Universalist Church. The WHAT? This is creepy I tell him. He agrees and reminds me that it could be a total flop or it could be really cool. As we enter the building it looks (and smells) like any other old church. We made our way to a very uncomfortable pew and I begin to study the stained glass windows to determine whether or not I could fit through them if we are presented with the creepy Kool-Aid. Satisfied with my escape plan, I begin to relax.

We were there to see Jim Scott (who?), a guitarist who has shared the stage with the bassist who plays for Peter Gabriel. For those of you who don't know, Mike is the biggest (and possibly only) Peter Gabriel fan that survived the '80's. Well, I can always appreciate good music, but this date gets crazier. Curious about the Unitarian Universalist (UUA) church I start thumbing through the Hymn book. If you ever have the privilege of looking through the UUA hymnal, you will see "hits" entitled "Sometimes I feel like a motherless child," "The Pen is Greater," "Joyful is the Dark," and the ever popular hit "Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen," among more traditional hymns like "Amazing Grace," and "O come Emmanuel."

Well I must say that while Mr. Scott's guitar playing was delightful, his songs were sort of "out there." With an emphasis on preserving our environment and protecting the Earth, he wrote his first song with pauses for us all to take a deep breath together. I glanced at Mike. He winked at me. Mr. Scott's second song included sign language about the circle of friends. The funniest part about the song was that EVERYONE was totally into it. I saw adults ages 21 to 81 circling their hands above their heads proudly. I actually tried to take a picture of it on Mike's cell phone but it didn't turn out. As Mr. Scott began a 10 minute introduction to his next song, Mike says, "wait 30 seconds and meet me outside." I smile at the people behind me and make my way outside but Mike is nowhere to be seen. Then I heard the screeching of the tires and see Mike waving frantically at me through the sun roof. Then he starts waving his hands around his head like everyone did for "Circle of Friends" and as I hop into the car I can't remember a time when I laughed that hard. We headed to Entourage to detox (or tox depending on how you look at it) and were home by 8:30. It was a great night.

If you want to see what I mean, you can check out Jim Scott's website at your own risk!

jimscottmusic.com