Merry Christmas from the Soares kids. This is the final result birthed from the horrid photo experience described in the "Smile Dammit" blog. Getting 3 kids to smile at the same time is priceless! At church tonight I had a very fulfilling experience. It was truly a breath of fresh air. We sang carols by candle light after we devoured the accounts of Jesus' birth. This may sound pessimistic, but I have never really embraced the Christmas story like so many around me do. God was God, the people were obedient and some astrologers and shepherds witnessed it all as angels sang "glory to God in the Highest." It just doesn't impact me as it does others around me. I guess the year I was pregnant with Alexander and had contractions on Christmas day I sort of identified with Mary. I also relate to Joseph more than anybody because he is a step parent but other than that, it is hard for me to really "feel" the miracle of Jesus birth. Until tonight. As Roger talked, I thought yeah, yeah, I know. I know the story so why did I come to church tonight. Then Roger told a story about a boy that sat on the sidelines with a sort of "bah Humbug" attitude toward the hard work the father had done in order to celebrate Christmas. That's me. So what. What now? Then we turned off the lights. I felt like God gave me the "quiet" I have hungered for all this month. My heart did a 180. The big screen at church said "stop." And I did. Those of you who know me know I don't do that well. You've probably been victims of my resistance to "stopping." The screen said something like stop worring, stop THINKING, stop rushing etc.... Big deal right? Then we passed out the candles and sang Silent Night. I wanted it to last forever. There were times when all I could do was listen (another Christmas miracle). The auditorium was filled with worship. The worship was in the form of "Thank you God for your gift. Thank you for giving us a second chance. Thank you for your Holiness." I will never be able to recreate that moment but for me, that was the best Christmas present ever. For what it is worth, I pray the longing of your heart will be answered this Christmas.
1 comment:
Damn, you are quite the writer. I was too busy trying to keep my kids all in check at Mass on Christmas to really "feel" Christmas! I wish I would have been able to enjoy the Mass :( But, time at home with the 5 of us over the past few days has actually been wonderful. That in itself is a Christmas Miracle :)
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